What Happens If You Don’t Play With Your Toddler?

It’s what kids do, isn’t it! Play all day. But what if all they do is play by themselves or with other kids? What would happen then? Is it really that bad if a parent doesn’t play with their kids?

Traits Your Kids May Get As A Result of Playing Without Adults

• Shy as they’ve had less practice interacting with others and being shown how to interact in a safe way. Their self esteem also may be lower than others as they haven’t had anyone’s undivided attention.
• Lack of empathy for others.
• Lack of social skills.
• Less creative. Sometimes children need to be shown how to play. Providing them with toys and seeing what they can come up with can often be a great idea but it can also lead them to repeatedly play the same games over and over again.

What Are Parents’ Barriers To Playing With Their Children?

1. Not enough time in the day. Lots of parents are full-time workers, have chores to do when they’re home, are tired after work, spend too much time on social media and the list goes on.
2. They don’t know what to play with their kids. If you scroll further down the page, you’ll find a list of ideas.
3. They say they don’t like playing. You’re not being asked to play all day long with your kids. Half an hour or an hour a day is not actually a large amount of time, but in a kid’s world, it’s immense.
4. They think playing with other kids is enough. Playing with other kids will help them learn social skills but they also get a lot out of playing with adults too. Some things can’t be taught by other children. Hence, why in primary schools, you hear a lot of, “Miss, So-And-So just did this to me.” Kids need to be shown how to deal with certain situations and only adults can help with that.

What Are The Benefits of Playing With Your Kids?

• You are teaching them social skills. You could scaffold sentences for them and share with them the vocabulary of turn-taking. “Do you remember, it’s Mummy first, then you, then Daddy?” “Whose turn is it next?” “Well done! That was a great throw!” (of a dice). “Great game! I really enjoyed playing that with you!” “We don’t always have to win. It’s nice to see our friends and family happy because they won. Maybe next time, you’ll win.” You can also talk to them about sharing because this isn’t an easy thing to learn.
• You are showing them you love them by being interested in what they are doing. This will boost their confidence even though they don’t know it.
• You get to know them better as a person. You get to have conversations with them that you maybe wouldn’t have if you were just letting them play by themselves. This can lead you to find out which kind of toys they like playing with best and help you with ideas for birthday and Christmas.
• You can help them problem solve. Sometimes, when playing, kids come up against obstacles. You, as an adult, can help them overcome these obstacles and teach them how to problem solve for themselves. This, in turn, helps with their resilience. I bet most of us with little ones who talk have heard, “I can’t do it!” Or seen our little ones, who aren’t yet verbal, getting frustrated with certain toys or activities and just abandoning them. Instead, what we, as adults, can show them is to look at it again and give it another go in a different way. “Well, ok, this shape doesn’t fit here, but what if I turn it and try it again? Ok, it still doesn’t work. What if I try a different hole instead?” Instead of your child saying, “I can’t do it!” Try to get them to rephrase it to, “I can’t do it yet.” It’s called having a positive mindset and it is a learned behaviour which takes some teaching but can bring huge success for your kids and help them to be more independent.
• You can help them to become more independent. It sounds odd. Playing with someone helps them to be independent. Well. why don’t I just give them more independent time, then? Surely, independent time breeds independence. Actually, playing with your child gives them confidence, it practises their verbal skills, problem-solving skills and makes them happier in their own skins because someone is interested in them.

Ideas For Playing With Your Children

Giving your kids one-on-one time is so important to their development.

1. Construction play. This could be building towers with wooden blocks or paper cups. Or it could be building a railway track together to play trains on.
2. Messy play. You could set up a sensory play tray and join in with some imaginary play or some pouring if contains liquids or solids such as rice.
3. Arts & Crafts. Create a picture together using paints or crayons.
4. Board games – toddler versions of board games and turn-taking games such as games by Orchard Toys.
5. Imaginative Play. Join in their dolly game or having a tea party with all their soft toys.
6. Outside play. This could be football or a bike ride.

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